Reflection

(Warning: My reflection posts will be in paragraphs)

Tsuru is a beautiful city. It's definitely different from Tokyo. Tokyo has a lot of people hustling and bustling about, tall buildings, and flashing lights. Tsuru has smaller buildings and not many people are seen outside. It's a cute little town that I'm really loving right now. The atmosphere is great and the only thing ruining it is the heat. I really like this place and would definitely like to live in a place like this. It may not have as much things to do like Tokyo, but it's a really great place.

Right now, emotionally and mentally I'm not doing too well. Since I'm a really shy sometimes I have a hard time making friends. I thought I could be a new person when I go to Japan, but it's easier said than done. Many Tsuru students have already made friends with each other. I feel like a loner most of the time. I try talking to the others, but most of the time I run out of things to talk about so then our conversation ends. WHY AM I LIKE THIS???!?!?!?! This is why I have such a hard time making friends T_T Ugh, I hate myself sometimes. Why am not a fun and outgoing person? The others probably think I'm stuck up. Ugh, I hate that other people have that assumption on shy people like me. I did manage to talk with a few of the students and they're really cool people. They're a lot of fun to talk with!! The feeling of having someone to talk to is really great. It's better than just standing or sitting there twiddling your thumbs. I hope we'll continue to talk with each other and form a friendship :) I hope that I'll eventually become friends with the others as well. Seriously, I've gone through that too many times. I don't know why I keep doing that to myself. I'm an introvert who always thinks about how others would view me. If things don't work as well then it's going to be a long 5 months....

The tutors are really awesome. Most of them are very hyperactive and try hard to communicate with us. My tutor is a fun guy. It's hard communicating, though, since my Japanese is horrible and he knows little English. We try to make it work, though. He's also really helpful. Sadly, the next day we didn't really talk. It's mainly because I ran out of topics to talk with him with. Plus, I'm so embarrassed with my Japanese >< He probably think it's weird that I kept switching between formal and informal. It's just a stupid habit that I have. I really want to talk with him, but it's not easy when I can't speak Japanese very well. He probably thinks I'm a boring person or something...  This is great though because it gives me motivation to study harder. I really want to improve my Japanese and so there's no time to slack off! It's time to take those 3 years of Japanese to good use. がんばります！！

Here's hoping my Japanese will improve and I will make friends with everyone on the program. I don't want to end up not improving my Japanese and feeling like a loner the whole time. I WANT TO ENJOY JAPAN!!!!!